Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Mispronounced Words…

crack me up.  How many times has your child come to you with a serious face and a mispronounced word or saying? Keeping a straight face isn’t always easy.

We’ve grinned and beared it through “appletite”, “marriage-go-round”, “teethpicks” and “boyly” but the best so far happened just the other day.  My 6 year old came to me very serious and told me that the little girl across the street had something he really wanted.  He did his typical starting his sentence over and over again as he stumbled over trying to get his thoughts across and finally spit it out.

He wants a “diarrhea book”.  A what?  I said, you want a “diarrhea book?”  “Yep, a diarrhea book” was the answer.

It took me a second to realize he was asking for a diary to write his thoughts in.  lol.

Conversation with a 5 Year Old

Sometimes I think my brain shuts down and runs on automatic, at least when it comes to things that “I” say to my kids, usually in response to their myriad of questions. Here is a conversation I had last week with my 5 year old son after reading his bedtime story.

O:  Where do people come from?

Me:  They grow in their mommies bellys made from love from the mommy and the daddy.

O:  But where do the mommies come from?

Me:  They grow in THEIR mommy’s bellys.

O:  Sighs.  (not satisfied with the answers but moves on)  Okay well, whaty’re these?  Note that he’s lifted his PJ top and has each pointer finger on a nipple. 

Me:  Those are your nipples.

O:  Whaty’re they for?

Me:  They’re for decoration.  lol.

He, of course, didn’t believe me but I’m still laughing at myself…lol. 

Toxic Perfume Lady!

I just love Mike Adams! Can everyone relate?

My husband tells me I have a hypersensitive sense of smell but I think its ONLY to chemicals.  Perfumes, fake aromatherapy candles, etc…..all make me tense up (among other lovely things like headaches, itchiness, watery eyes). If I’m suddenly in close quarters with someone who is doused in perfume/cologne, you can bet that ALL I’m thinking about is how to get away FAST.

toxic_perfume_600.jpg
Toxic Perfume Lady (comic)

What..you’re 5 and no cell phone?

Today my 5 year old was talking with his grandmother on the phone.  While his brother started 3rd grade last Monday, he doesn’t start Kindergarten until next week.  Grandmom asked him to call her when he had been at school a few days to share with her how he liked it.

My 5 year old replied, “But Grandmom, I don’t have a cell phone”.   :)

Strangest Thing

The strangest thing happened to me today.  Apparently, I called myself.  Now, I’d really like to know what I wanted to say but I hung up before I answered.  Sounds like a joke, heh?  Its not.  Today, I was home and my phone rang.  I looked at the caller ID and it said MY NAME and MY HOME NUMBER.  Did I mention I was home (the home with ONE phone line)?  What the?   So now I’m trying to relax a bit and open myself up to whatever message is apparently trying to get through to me…so much so that I had to call myself to get the point across.  lol. 

Why you all are so special…

 

(I received this in the mail.  I usually don’t forward on forwards but occassionally one will touch me as this one did.  I removed the “pass this on, don’t break this or you will stub your toe” stuff at the end) 

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.

As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter “Don’t forget your Sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass “They’ll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters.

Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. “Remember that ‘Sisters’ means ALL the women.. your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. “You’ll need other women. Women always do.

” What a funny piece of advice!’ the young woman thought. Haven’t I just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!’

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes

Life happens

Distance separates

Children grow up

Jobs come and go

Love waxes and wanes

Men don’t do what they’re supposed to do

Hearts break

Parents die

Colleagues forget favors

Careers end

BUT…….. Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you…Or come in and carry you out Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn’t be the same without women, and neither would . I When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did

Cool Mom Slogan

Cleaning the house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling
snow while it’s still snowing!

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

If you are familiar with the story If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, you
might appreciate this version.

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

If you give a Mom a muffin,
She’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She’ll pour herself some.
Her three year old will spill the coffee.
She’ll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she’ll find dirty socks.
She’ll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she
has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She’ll look for her cook book (101 things to do
with a pound of hamburger)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse that is being dumped
out by her two year old.

She’ll smell something funny.
She’ll change the two year old’s diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five year old will answer and hang up.
She’ll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to
have a cup.
And chances are,
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Original Author Unknown

Get Yer Signage!

Haha…found on another blog this little toy is too fun to not play with;

Here’s where you can get your own sign.

Sign the petition while you are at it. We don’t need hummers in happy meals to improve life on our planet.

05/08/2006: “Links of the day!”

Thomas Gordon Training! GREAT articles that are excerpts from the Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) books;
http://www.gordontraining.com/familyresources.html

Why Mommy is a Democrat (a children’s book)
http://littledemocrats.net/

And because I thought this was hysterical…a TV Kozy! lol
http://www.tvkozy.com